2. Go STRAIGHT to the back, do not pass go, and don't stop until you hit the clearance racks. The ones with signs over them reading $3, $5, and $7.
3. Pull out cute blue dress with the $3 tag and see the potential it has to hug every bulge in your body the wrong way. Grab a bigger size than normal, fork over your hard-earned three dolla make me wanna holla, and exit.
4. Night before church, try it on and realize it is the butt-hugger you feared it would be. Frantically search the room for something to stretch it over for the night. It needs to be wearable in 8 hours. And since I can't drop 10 pounds quite that fast, the dress needs to grow.
My dress, stretching to it's full potential. |
6. In the morning, slowly pull off and cross your fingers. Stomp your foot in annoyance that you used a rectangular shaped basket instead of a round one, but hope those little bulges work themselves out.
7. accessorize with a wide belt easily found at Goodwill for a buck or 2, and a dollar store necklace. Throw on Payless clearanced shoes to finish off the look.
I would have shown you a few more options, but frankly I felt really stupid posing for pictures. (I looked stupid too, hence the chopped off head!) |
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